my cheery butthole
by twoweaboos
Summary: wow johndave such johndave ((tbh this is not supposed to be taken seriously)) we did it for the vine
1. Chapter 1

johndave ((we doing it for the vine))

by

twincatastrophe and heinous-anus-chan

dav was going 2 johns house when he realized something important…. "holy shit" dave whispered, his eyes going wide beneath his radical shades. "... im gay .gay for john."

dave just shrugged and walked the rest of the distance to johns house. he knock on door.

John was listening to One Direction's new CD's Midnight Memories. He heard the knock on his door and turned off the music. He opened his his door to see Dave! "hey dave!" he said with a cheery smile.

"hey dude" dave didnt smile back because he was 2cool4u. he stared at john for a long while and his palms started to get sweaty. his knees were weak. arms spaghetti.

"are you okay?" he asked moving aside for Dave to come in. He looked at Dave's rippling spaghetti arms. he welcomed dave into his house and changed the music to some kind of smooth jazz.

dave still didnt smile. too cool. he sat down on johns bed and stared at the wall for like 3 minutes b4 turning to look at john finally. "so hows it goin" he says coolly, light reflecting off his rad shades even tho the room was p dark. he was just that cool.

"dave why don't you ever take of ur shades. i bet u have hawt animu eyes. i mean like cool eyes, not hot bc i'm not a homosecual." He said as the song 'grind on me' came on. "

dave started to look rly uncomfortable. "u-um…." he stuttered nervously. "sorry dude. i dont EVER take off my shades. i get herpes on my eyes if i do"

"oh." john said sadly as the song 'my neck my back' came on. john looked at dave at began to sing him the song. "All you ladies pop your pussy like this Shake your body, don't stop, don't miss

All you ladies pop your pussy like this Shake your body, don't stop, don't missJust do it, do it, do it, do it, do it now

Lick it good suck this pussy, just like you should Right now, Lick it good suck this pussy just like you should

My Neck, my back Lick my pussy and my crack" It's true that John was a prankster but this was such a good song!

dave gaped at john and began to get REALLY sweaty. his cool was breaking. this was it. his final moments as a cool kid. john was just too sexy when he sang that glorious song. "j-joOHN" dave started shaking on the spot.

"d-david. daijoubou?" he asked in his fluent japanese. bc he was so cool like that. well not as cool as dave. but u know. he was like 666% cool and dave was like over 9000% cool hmu. John looked into Dave's shades to see if he was kay.

"JOHn" dave said in a serious tone, grabbing johns shoulders and looking deep into his kawaii azure eyes.. "i-i must confess something.." fuck he was starting to get sweaty again. so sweaty he could probably outsweat equius. "i-i…." he looked away, his cool dropping to 0%

"i love you.."

end of chapter 1… follow for more grunge


	2. Chapter 2

chapter 2: hmu

"but i'm not ghey." he said looking into the dark and mysterious shades of his friend Dave. He looked longingly into his shades and shrugged. "watashi- wa, daisuki." he said after maybe like 5 mins or something. he could see himself with dave maybe like 17 kids or something being a sexy house waifu like in his animus.

dave looked really sad and he frowned drastically. "oh" he sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "s-sorry man i dont speak russian" he said nervously.

"dave senpai- i like….. i like… i like, like, uhh." he said the words getting stuck in his throat like some kind of metaphorical dick. "i like you." He said his cheek burning with a flame hotter than the sun combined with jake's buttery buns hmu.

dave almost gasped w/ surprise. "y-you do?" he breathed out. he quickly regained his cool and flipped his dumb hair to the side. "i mean- of course you do. after all i am the most rad xD"

"Oh, Dave, I am scared, i haven't…. had mi first kiss lolz." he said the weaboo inside of him growing wilder, his final evolution growing inside of him.

davwe cupped johns cheek with an unwashed hand and looked deep into his eyes. "i can fix that" he whispered, leaning in to make his move.

John closed his kawaii azure eyes waited for his first kiss with his now husbando lolz x3. he was gonna get the booty if it killed his kawaii shota soul.

dave closed his eyes even though it didnt matter anyway bc you really couldnt see his eyes u know. he roughly placed his lips onto johnjamins. this was it. also his first kissu. even though….. he would never admit it….

"d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dave." he stuttered, possibly more than tavros but u know what ever lol. " that was perfect." he was so cool and kawaii and everyone wanted his sweet kawaii ass. bc u know he's that much of a shota bishie , maybe even more than dick i mean dirk lol.

dave looked lovingly at john egbert and smiled just a little. "yeah" he said. he actually reached up, beginning 2 take off his glASSes…...

"dave are u really taking of ur glasses?" he asked astounded. his azure eyes glistening in the darkly lit room. u know shotas have that kind of power and stuff lol.

"yeah" dave said and folded his rad shades and put them in his pocket. his newly revealed eyes glistened. his eyes were….. totes kawaii. shining more red than the red that was considered off-hemospectrum.

"dave ur eyes, they're so cool." standing closer to his now bf's eyes. he looked at them in every angle, seeing how the light would hit the reds so perfectly. he smiled and winked at dave now not knowing what 2 do.

dave started 2 get nervous again and he felt vulnerable bc of his eyes. "u rly think so" he looked at the floor, 2 ashamed to look john in the eyes…

" ya they're sugoi." he said with a smile the smile widening as he bent down to meet David's eyes. he also have the bed room eies . john began to think about pee colors, he was probably de-hydrated, he should drink water bc his pee was like a idk kinda orange idk. u know. he needed to talk to his doctor. but u know what ever.

dave was gettin aroused by johns sexy bedroom eyes. "john…" he murmured, turning his head 2 kiss johnathan again. "we gotta do the sex"

"where doe?" he asked like maybe u know his bedroom or like the counter or something erotic ;))) he wanted his first timez on the roof holla

dave grabed john by the waist and flew up to the roof. "g2g fast" he whispered under his breath, snickering slightly at the reference to the funny meme

john snapped his fingers and was cloth-less, land like ripped like that old spice dude. the black guy, nothing is wrong with being black or white, you know all of equality up in here and stuff. but that's not the point. "i am ready dave." he said his but somehow magically lubed up like in the yaoiz.

dave got an instant boner and he also like ripped off all his clothes. "im gonna frick u so hard" he breathed heavily, aligning himself 2 johns diddly hole and pushing inside

to be continued…

((saving for the smut lol))

john rode out his orgasm his screams becoming louder and louder you barely hear: HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE WOLF CRY TO THE BLUE CORN MOON, OR ASK THE GRINNING BOB-CAT WHY HE GRINNED.


	3. frick frack and snick snack

chapter three: frick frack and snick snack

john felt dave's pee-pee inside of him. tbh anal sex felt like taking a backwards poop. or like sticking ur dingle dangle inside a thing of peanut butter. just it was a lil bit harder u know. anal sex is kinda gross like it's ur penis can touch some poop or something.

dave puhsed the rest of the way inside john and gasped at the tight heat surrounding his massive dong. "J-jogn u feel so good" he exclaimed, lookin down at the shota boy w/ luv. "r u ready for my baloney pony"

john's danky kang twitched with every push of dave's yougurt gun. john noded wait ing for the fuck rod.

dave maoned and began 2 move inside of the other lil man. his flesh flute slammed into johns butthole at like 400mph hmu.

john came 2 fast 2 handle screamed riding out his organism the first words he thought of came out: 'poo poo pee pee." the seaman spraying every where like metaphorical hose but it's not bc it's coming out of his dick or something u know holla holla bring me tha dolla. his nipples hard from hte oragnism they looked like two egg

dave continued to frick johnathan in the diddlydoo until he spurted seman from his one-eyed monster into the egbert. He scREMAed really loudly as he cum.

holy shit their cum was all over the place like wowo zowo. it was all over the roof and like to the windows and to walls till the sweat drips down my balls.

dave made a disgusted noise and got off of john "ew man how r we gonna clean this shit up" he screamed more.

"i got this!" he said with a v big smile. he started to lick up the roof and soon he became fat and started to roll a round like a lil happy ball.

dave blUSHED REALLY HARD and he looked at john. "JOHN U KNOW I HAVE A CUM EATIGN FETISH." he got like 16 boners lol

"i'm sorry dave i only did it for the vine." he said with a half winky face.

dave look really disappoint. "john did the secks mean nothing to u" he sounded sad and his 16 boners deflated


End file.
